there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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