hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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