Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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