She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
