my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
