I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
