when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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