Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
