i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
40s are totally the cure
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
