News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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