I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
