Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
