S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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