I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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