the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he shaved USA in his pubs
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
