I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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