i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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