I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
