I feel like abortions should bother me more
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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