yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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