we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
