Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
