I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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