Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
