$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
