He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize