So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
