I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Randomize
