your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
