took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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