i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Randomize
