sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
