I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
