You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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