she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize