I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
