i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
