yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
