Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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