Whod you bang
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
