Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
