im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just invented taco cereal.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Randomize
