i just identified you from a description of your pipe
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
