Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
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