I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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