I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
