Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
