I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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