My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
