butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
