3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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