If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
