bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
