so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
