Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
