mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
