Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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