I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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