I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
