I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
