My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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