i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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