ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
