I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
